Category: Joke Board
The Top 16 Things That Can Get a
Gal Banned From the Women's Union
(a companion to yesterday's list of things to get men banned from the men's union)
16> "Okay, I admit it: More than six cats may be a bit excessive."
15> You've had the faces of Moe and Larry tattooed on each breast
-- and if a guy asks nicely, you'll show him where Curly
resides.
14> You regularly clean your ears out with a screwdriver.
13> You put out a nice gingham tablecloth, then gut a freshly
killed deer on it.
12> Although you'd never do the old pull-my-finger gag, you love
to play "squeeze my boob" with similar sound effects.
11> Purchasing any greeting card featuring a chimp and a bikini.
10> The whoopee cushion seemed like a good idea when you brought
it into the meeting.
9> You're already planning on lining up for tickets to the
"Matrix" sequel.
8> Instead of brushing your teeth on a Saturday morning, you use
leftover beer as a mouthwash.
7> Proposing that you take over as local precinct leader, then
wussing out on the requisite knife fight to the death on the
union hall roof.
6> "Whoa! How about a courtesy flush over there, Diane?!?"
5> You delay the decision to take your mom off life support until
after the World Series.
4> "Doing your nails" requires an air compressor and a power
sander.
3> Neglecting to pass on e-mails that are clearly marked: "Cute!!
LOL!! Pass this on!"
2> The stack of "Maxim" magazines piled on your toilet tank is
paperweighted by a tub of petroleum jelly.
and the Number 1 Thing That Can
Get a Gal Banned From the Women's Union...
1> You loudly proclaim that if "Dumb and Dumber" isn't the best
movie of all time, you'll give up chewing tobacco.
Hey, my kind of girl. How much does she weigh? Sorry, that's another topic.
My favorites are:
6> "Whoa! How about a courtesy flush over there, Diane?!?"
5> You delay the decision to take your mom off life support until
after the World Series.
Bob
lol
LOL, great!